Wordless Wednesday...

My Momma...

Today would have been my Mom's 73rd birthday. Would have been... what words. She passed away from vascular dementia and it's complications almost 6 years ago. And I still miss her every day.

She was such a major influence in my life. She taught me so much. Not just educational things, but about life and how to live it. She showed me not just with her words, but with her actions what it was like to truly live as a Christian. We used to tease that we never went to church by ourselves. We were always going by somebody's house and picking them up to take them to church with us. There was always that open invitation - need a ride? Give Mom a call!

Sometimes, even now after all this time, when I have an important decision to make, I stop and think "what would Mom have done" or "what would Mom have had to say about this"? There have been times that I would love to call her up and say "Hey Mom, what's going on with you today? I have something I want to talk to you about..." I think one of the things I miss most is the way she would put her arms around me, give me a big hug, and say "Ohhh how's my sweet Jeanne". Nobody fills the void that your Mom leaves behind when she passes from this world to the next.

One of the things that made an impression on me happened at her funeral. A friend from church played a flute solo and also played piano for the service. Mom had passed away 6 days before Christmas. Her service was December 23. This wonderful sweet woman played a song at the end of the service, that took me just a bit by surprise. She played, "I'll Be Home for Christmas". For my Mom, that was the P E R F E C T song! She was in her heavenly home, with her heavenly father. To be absent from the body, is to be present with the Lord. That is what "she" would have wanted us to know and realize.

I think she was about 12 years old in the picture. Wasn't she beautiful? I think so, but then I am just a bit prejudiced about that. (I have always thought my Mom was beautiful and I have the photos to prove it!) She was riding in the back of a pick-up truck and they were moving back home to Oklahoma after living in Arkansas for a while. She wrote on the back of the photo how happy they all were to finally be coming home...

Mom was the baby of the family. Here's one of the funny things my Mom told us about her being the baby and being treated "special". She said that all the time people would remark to her parents about her being "such a pretty little girl". SO, as children do, when they are told something often enough, she would sometimes greet visitors to their home with "Hi! I'm a pretty little girl!"

Most importantly, she set a good example. I remember once when my nephew (who had CP) was not eating. Mom decided that she would pray and fast. She made up her mind that she would not eat until Eric ate! Mom prayed and fasted holding to her faith that Eric was going to eat! I believe it was about three days...And you know what - he did! She also had a burden for the country of China. It was like God just lay that country on her heart and man, she prayed every day for China and the Chinese people. Years of prayers...when Mom felt led to take something on - she did it! She was a true "Prayer Warrior"!

I could go on and on about my wonderful Mother, but I think Proverbs 31 says it best...

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.

Happy birthday Mom, I love you...

Cancer Sucks...

Cancer sucks... You hear people say that all the time don't you? When someone close to you has cancer - it REALLY sucks.

My uncle has been diagnosed with liver cancer (in his pancreas too). Incurable. Pretty much non-treatable, other than for pallative purposes. It sucks.

Cancer has taken too many of my family, friends, co-workers, acquaintances, etc. And I am mad! Does it do any good? No probably not, but still I am mad. Mad at the world for not finding a cure for this terrible "robber of life". Mad at God even for allowing such a horrible thing to exist. Hmmm... you might tell me that "Now Jeanne, you shouldn't be mad at God. He knows what is best, he is in control." Well, I know all this, but I am human. And better yet, God knows that. He knows that I am a human and not a perfect creature. I am forgiven that's all. Why hide my anger from someone who knows me inside out and knows what I will say and think before I do it? After all, (and this is one of my favorite quotes): He's a BIG God - he can take it!

So God, I'm mad about this. There, I've said it.

NOW, to move on. (and this next part is really just for me...to remind me. but you can read it if you want...)

God is in control. He is never late, he never makes mistakes, and he has a purpose for every time and season. I do not understand and I may not ever understand while I live on this earth. "For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known." I think that is my problem. I am a seeker of knowledge, it is built into my curious brain. I want to understand why, what, how, when, etc. And this is just beyond my scope.

Since I cannot understand, I must lean heavy on my saviour. So I will close my little rant with this:

Lam. 3:22-25 — It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.

Eph. 3:20-21 — Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end.

John 16:33 — These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.

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Happy Anniversary!

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